By the time French got down to the Westphalia Express office Staedtler had already retrieved the missing postcards from Charlie Windsor and Dr Pangloss, and had pieced them together on his desk so the message could be read in full.
"Hmm, intriguing," said French, after scanning the text. "Well, I think it's time to do as they say and print something. I mean, these postcards are beginning to mount up, and it looks like you could have a big story on your hands."
"No can do, I'm afraid," replied Satedtler. "I've spoken to Pangloss and Charlie Windsor and they're both dead against it. And the editor's none too keen either."
"Oh, I see," said French. "We don't do deals with terrorists, that kind of attitude, is it?"
"Something like that. Their official line is that it's all a bit of harmless fun and they find it mildly amusing, but off the record they're worried about this breaking nationally and they don't want the Westphalia Express involved. After all, we are supposed to be supporting them."
"So you're going to keep a lid on this story, and let some other journo run with?"
"Looks like I'll have to, sighed Staedtler.
"Well, they won't be able to keep a lid on this stuff for ever, said French. "There's more trouble for Pangloss out there."
With that he reached over to Staedtler's computer and tapped away at the keys. After a few moments a Facebook page appeared with Dr Pangloss's face at the top of it. Next to his picture were the words 'I fucking hate Dr Pangloss'.
"Bloody hell," said Staedtler. "Another website?"
"Yep," said French. "Not quite as subtle as the Piddlebackside blog. This one tells it like it is."
"Shit. I'm going to call Pangloss and see if he knows about this. If they won't let me run with the postcard mystery they've got to let me do a piece on this."
After a brief phone call to the Mayor's office Staedtler turned to French and said: "The guy's unbelievable. What do you think he said? He said it's the biggest compliment you can have — people know who their leader is. And then he said it is an 'enormous compliment' that people read and respond to his column in the Westphalia Express — whether they are for or against his views."
"And what did you say?"
"I said: but everyone thinks you're doing a crap job and earning too much money."
"How did he answer that?"
He said: "I have had to make sure things are happening. Things are happening which are controversial but they are happening. You are not going to make progress without upsetting some people."
"Progress?" Spluttered French. "The towns are dying on their arses. Christ, if Eastphalia was a person it would be halfway to Switzerland by now, asking to be put out of its misery."
"Yes," added Staedtler, putting on a tannoy announcer's voice, "Will the last person to leave please switch off the lights."
"Oh well," sighed French, "I guess you'd better commit our great leader's words of wisdom to print."
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4 comments:
I'd like to think your blog gets things done even if the mayor of Westphalia is all spin, visions for the future (many of which will never happen but sound great to the public he really thinks are totally gullible), and to hell with actually getting done today what actually needs doing.
There was a local football club chairman here in Westphalia a year or two back and it was obvious he didn't have a clue either. Well it was obvious to everyone else at the time; not even the gift of hindsight or an interest in football was needed. Result - one club ending up deeply in debt and relegated from the football league.
Bit like this council, its richly paid leaders and equally well paid councillors who don't even attend meetings. But of course although we pay for them it turns out they are not that accountable after all and have not been named by our mayor. Democracy? - I don't think so! Can't you name them? - you've got your finger on the pulse.
Anyhow, back to our mayor who is so reminenscent of the football club chairman - all talk, no sensible or realistic action, and a bloody disaster long before the end of the day. He was very keen to have the centre of town (the jewel in the crown I believe was how the area was described) tidied up and looking the superb attraction it should be. Ask him what is happening to that beautiful attraction by the clock tower by Westphalia Harbour, namely the ex-hotel structure about five floors high covered in the most attractive white plastic sheeting inlaid with seagull and pigeon droppings - just as it has been for months and months on end with absolutely nothing appearing to be done above ground level. A lick of paint has recently been applied at pavement level only, no doubt to make it look good to the councillors or people walking past below the mass of scaffolding just sitting there. Might as well now paint a bloody great V-sign on the sheeting for that's all the sheeted structure is saying to the totally inactive council who make the occasional noise about enforcement action but, as usual, in reality do nothing. I thought the council were going to take action months ago. Result? Surprise, surprise - absolutely nil! If they cannot get the day-to-day matters right what hope is there for the future?
Regarding the blight that was the Queens Hotel with it's rusting canopy sticking out from under the polythene like a bad tooth - If this was a pensioners house in the backwaters of Brixham all hell would break loose.
I wanted a Mayor but this incumbant is pathetic and is being run by the bloated overpaid council managers.
Interesting if you go on the wall on the appreciation group for Dr Pangloss, it is only negative comments posted there! Don't his "friends" have anything nice to say??????
Would the lights be the new ones on Eastphalia seafront where the council needs to investigate itself for lack of planning permission?
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