Chapter 50 In which the Westphalia Express comes to the rescue

Down at the offices of the Westphalia Express all the columnists were sitting around, sandwiches in hand, waiting for the editor to start the special meeting he had called.
'Are we all here? Right, now listen up everybody. Dr Pangloss is in a bit of a pickle over this Vision, so I've said we'll help him out. Support for him on the letters page is pretty thin on the ground, so we need to stick something in the regular columns to boost his morale a bit.'
A collective groan went around the room.
'What's the matter with you lot? It's not like I'm asking you to write a positive review of Mein Kampf. It's the Mayoral Vision - remember? The big plan that is going to turn this town into a thriving resort once again.'
'City,' said a female voice from the back.
'What?' asked the editor.
'I thought we were a city now.'
'Not yet, you dozy cow - we're still a town at the moment.'
'Well when are we going to be a city?'
'When some more people come to live here, I think. I don't bloody know. Anyway, that's not important right now. Now get back to your desks and write something positive.'
Another groan went around the room.
'Look, what's your bloody problem exactly?'
'Well, we don't really like it,' said Gus Hackson in a rather timid voice.
'Don't like the Mayoral Vision?' thundered the editor. 'What's the fucking matter with you?' Jesus Christ, give me strength. OK, what's your problem with the Mayoral Vision?'
'Er, all the high-rise stuff around the harbour - it's terrifying.' said the female voice.
'Oh yeah, all right, I'll grant you that,' said the editor. 'High-rise around the harbour, that is a shit idea. But apart from the high-rise around the harbour, what's you problem with the Mayoral Vision?'
'Building on Eastphalia seafront?' suggested a slightly emboldened Gus Hackson.
'OK, apart from the high-rise around the harbour and building on Eastphalia seafront, what's your problem with the Mayoral Vision?'
'The balloon!' piped up Deputy Editor John Staedtler. 'It's in completely the wrong place.'
'Right, apart from the high-rise, Eastphalia seafront and the balloon in the wrong place ...'
'And the casino! That's in the wrong place too!' added Staedtler, evidently warming to his theme.
'Christ, John,' said the editor, 'you're supposed to be on my side. OK, apart from ...'
'Wreck Walk!' shouted Staedtler, jumping up from the desk on which he had been perched. 'A full blown fucking disaster if ever I saw one. Will it ever be restored to its former glory as promised?'
'OK, now just calm down, John ...' said the editor. He had never seen his deputy quite like this, and was growing a little anxious.
'Selling our open spaces! I have concerns about that too!' Staedtler was becoming so animated he was beginning to spill his coffee. 'Parking meters!' he continued. 'They'll never pay their way!'
'Right, this is getting serious,' said the editor, suddenly thankful for all those 'First Aid in the Workplace courses he had been on. I'm going to stun him and put him in the recovery position. Gus, you get the straightjacket.'

Thirty minutes later John Staedtler was sitting at his desk feeling much calmer. 'Phew, I don't know what came over me, guv,' he said, as his his fingers flew across the keyboard. I've snapped out of it though, and I think I can write a nice positive piece, because apart from the balloon, the casino, Wreck Walk, selling open spaces and parking meters there are some great ideas there and I'm right behind them. 'The editor looked affectionately across the desk at his number two. 'It's good to have you back, John'. he said. 'For a moment there I thought we'd lost you.'