While Charlie Windsor was busy explaining the earth shattering importance of Tory visitors to the Cote de Westphalia to bemused locals Loretta Martin was walking home through the town. Jumping smartly to one side to avoid being run over by the number 12 bus, she stepped onto the escalator which took her to the upper floor where you were safe from traffic and shoppers. Gazing in the windows of the deserted shops, her eye was caught by the bright colours of a small shopfront which she had not noticed before. On the window the word 'LOGICIAN' was painted in purple. 'Have you fortune told, love?' came a voice from behind her. 'Er, no thanks,' said Loretta, as she turned around. I don't really believe in all that stuff.'
'Well if not your fortune, how about the answers to any other questions you may have?'
'But I can get the answers to any questions from Google for free, can't I?'
'Not always. Why not try me? Eugene Adamov at your service.'
Loretta thought for a moment then produced a scrap of paper from her handbag. 'OK, she said, tell me what this means: On ne peut pas tuer l'idee a coups de canon ni lui mettre les poucettes.'
'Ah, the Piddlebackside blogger? You'd better come in.'
'Well, what does it mean,' she said, following him into the rather cluttered shop.
'It means you can't kill an idea with gun shots, or put it in handcuffs. It's a quote from Louise Michel - she was with the Communards in Paris.'
'What, the eighties band?'
'No, the Communards were a group which rebelled against the rule of Napoleon III and briefly ruled Paris in April and May 1871. In a couple of months they implemented all kinds of popular reforms, such as the separation of Church and State, votes for women, and so on.'
'So why are we reading quotes like that from a time so far in the past that it has no relevance today?'
'That's a very common mistake to make - to assume the past has no connection to the present. People do it all the time, largely through ignorance. If you don't know much about the past it is tempting to completely disregard it, particularly where politics is concerned.'
'How do you mean?' asked Loretta.
'Well, for example, many people assume that society and our present political system have always been the same and will always remain the same. Of course a quick look at recent history shows that this is absolute nonsense - we are living in a constantly changing society, and it is a fact that most change for the better is only brought about through political struggle. For example, go back ten years and there was no minimum wage. Go back thirty years and throwing bananas at black footballers was deemed acceptable by many people. Go back ninety years and women were not allowed to vote. Go back ninety-five years and only 58% of men could vote. People are always resistant to change, particularly those people who stand to have their power and wealth eroded by change, so they do their level best to deride any new ideas which might benefit the majority. Gandhi said: "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." Take my first example of the minimum wage - in 1997 the Tories were opposed to it, now the idea of abolishing it would be considered a terrible step backwards. Now think about so called long-haired left-wing hippy tree-huggers. They have been derided by the political mainstream since the 1960s, but suddenly politicians are falling over themselves in an effort to appear green, and with the continuing bloodshed in Iraq people are now saying 'what's so funny about peace love and understanding?' Still, I think it will be some time before we see a headline in the Daily Mail saying WE CONCEDE - LEFTY HIPPIES WERE RIGHT.'
'I see. So people that say things like 'I don't vote - politicians and parties are all the same' are a bit misguided?'
'Not so much misguided as downright stupid. People seem to believe that all parties have the same goals, and that changing the governing party will have no effect on society; clearly this is not true: just one event - the introduction of the minimum wage - has proved that. It's time for people to wake up to what politics is about. Anyone who fails to recognise that all the major advances in society over the last century have come about through political activism against the establishment, and in political terms 'the establishment' is the Tories, is quite mad. Shall I put the kettle on?'
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9 comments:
La Residence de Le Count Pierre de Savaloy
Republique des Bananes
Dear Sir
I have been instructed to congratulate you on your most excellent insight into the recent goings on in Westphalia. Le Count asks me to convey his heartfelt gratitude for pointing out the expensive follies of M. Pangloss and his team of ‘consultants’, and seeks to distance himself from such personages. He would thus appreciate the opportunity to clarify his position regarding his own interests in the area.
As you have previously indicated Le Count has committed to a project that is close to his heart, or rather more accurately, the coastline between Oddfellows Pebblebeach and Longqueery. He is concerned that M. Pangloss may have misled the citizens of Westphalia as to the nature of this project, and seeks to make clear his intentions for the location.
Le Count recognises that the traditional visitor profile may be somewhat dated, but now is not the time to alienate them. For it is exactly at this time that the ‘Damp Pound’ is coming to the fore in the Old Country. Why? Well, he reasons, so many of our Senior Citizens are having to put their hard earned pensions towards deposits for their childrens’ homes that there is no way they can afford exotic cruises or safari adventures in their dotage. Hence domestic holidays are set to boom.
Thus I can report that the new development will most certainly not be geared exclusively to elite Continental types arriving by hydrofoil, but rather to incontinent types arriving by Standard Stairlift. And here I can reveal an exclusive regarding the next phase of the development. Le Count wishes it to be known that he plans to save the citizens of Westphalia zillions of pounds in maintenance costs for the upkeep of the Cliff Richards Memorial Railway, by moving it to the top of Updown Theatre. From here, at absolutely no cost, it will transport Sad Oldies to the newly refurbished Zimmer Bar by the Sea.
I hope this puts the record straight regarding the intentions of Savaloy Enterprises. Le Count would welcome the opportunity to keep Westphalians informed of future developments through your good offices.
Yours Most Utterly and Sincerely
Ms Scarlet Pimperbutt
Secretary to Le Count Pierre de Savaloy
Eugine no doubt went on to explain how identity cards and the Iraq invasion screwed his theory - or perhaps he just gave her a copy of 'Animal Farm' instead.
I agree that ID cards and the Iraq invasion are/were both bad ideas, but that doesn't disprove Eugene's theory.
Your Animal Farm reference - what are you implying? That because of Stalin any left-wing political view is wrong?
You don't have to look to Stalins time, look closer to home.
The first time we have had a government of the left for decades, and what happens? We end up with a worryingly oppressive and reactionary regime determined to demonise Muslims, start wars, lock up suspects for three months, grant endless new powers to the police to snoop on people, street search on suspicion, restrict free movement through restraining orders, exclusion zones and ASBO's , even removing the right to protest outside our Parliament.
You could argue that this Government is not of the left in which case I would agree.
I didn't bring up Stalin - I was just trying to fathom the significance of the Animal Farm reference.
And, yes, I do say this government is not left-wing (see chapter 31), so on that we are agreed.
You are seriously suggesting that liberal-minded people should support this most oppressive Government, why? just because it calls itself a Government of the left?
Lets just have a think about that.
You would ask me to support a government that privatises what it can, that uses public-private partnerships to sack workers, that uses PFI to waste money on bankers fees that should be being spent on children and old people, that has offered public service workers a derisory below inflation payrise whilst letting GP's, administrators and fat-cat public service bosses see their pay and perks grow by over 12% every year?
A government that has seen lowest paid people pay more in tax than the richest, poor people pay more than they can afford in council tax, petrol and fuel tax; a government that abolished the 10p starting rate and has seen the gap between the rich and poor growing again for the first time in 40 years; and to cap it all had the gall to double inheritance tax so that the rich can carry on allowing their offspring to have their own homes whilst students remain in debt after paying fees for decades and cannot afford anything; and can't get a council house because the Government won't build any.
You advocate supporting a government that is to spend £20bn on another round of nuclear weapons, that wants to replace all our nuclear power stations with new ones, that has rolled over and once again agreed to back American imperialism in Iran.
A government that has corrupted the business of government with dodgy dossiers, dodgy donors and millionaire businessmen picking up assets like Northern Rock and British Rail with our money.
And they get away with it all because some like you are happy to overlook the excesses of their own side in the interests of what they hope will be a bigger goal.
I am surprised I needed to spell out my Animal Farm reference to you, I really am.
Boxer
Steady on - I'm not asking you to vote Labour!
I agree it's a very grim choice, but I reckon it's still better to try and nudge a Labour government back to the left than re-elect the party that sold the council houses, began the rush to privatisation in the first place and historically has always screwed the poor.
And I still think you were asking rather a lot to expect me to infer everything you've just said from one oblique reference to Animal Farm.
Another way to 'nudge' Labour back on track would be to reclaim the party for what it should be - a progressive party of the left with principles ; honour confidence and belief.
The progressive left changes public opinion and society in or out of power, the achievements you name ; putting the environment centre stage, promoting equality, fighting prejudice against race and gender and exposing the evils of nuclear power weren't changes brought about by left wing Governments but by shifting public opinion IN SPITE of the government in power. Look at how the public reaction to clause 28 brought about a change in the public view about gay relationships; how swampy and others made people THINK about the environment because the Torys being hell bent on building new roads.
What makes the left strongest and best is principled opposition to the Whitehall Political Elite.
The Animal Farm reference is simple, when Labour win power they become as much the Establishment as the Tories, they did in the 1960's and they have now.
If you really believe that politics matters you wouldn't dare support the corrupt self-serving pigs with their noses in the trough that occupy Westminster under the guise of New Labour you would stand up for what you believe in.
Who cares if the Tories get back in? At least I'd stop having to be ashamed of what we have become. We might even have a chance of reclaiming our party, instead of just aping them in the pursuit of power.
I agree 100% with your views, but I guess we differ on what to do.
I agree that a Tory govt will not differ greatly from New Labour's Tory impersonators, but while I have a choice I will always choose not have a Tory representing me.
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