Chapter 2 In which the people of Westphalia-on-Sea realise that superheroes are in short supply.

And so there was great excitement in Westphalia-on-Sea when the idea of an elected mayor was proposed. First of all a referendum was held to see if the people really wanted a superhero-type mayor. Yes, they all cried. Well, 18,074 cried 'yes', 14,682 cried 'no' and approximately 67,000 of the residents of Westphalia-on-Sea didn't bother crying anything, but let us not dwell on unseemly facts that may bring the whole democratic process into question - Westphalia-on-Sea would jolly well get its mayor.

With 14 candidates the people were spoilt for choice. There was a soldier and a sailor, but predictably no candlestick maker, as that profession had been badly hit by the invention of electricity. Some people said 'where are the superhero-type people you promised us? These are just ordinary people; there's a journalist, a nurse, a pub landlord and the bloke from the launderette.' But those people were ignored, because they were just spoiling the fun for everybody else. With so many independent candidates one of them was bound to win, and he or she would soon sort the town out, even if they weren't a self-made super-businessperson, and the story filled up lots of space in the Westphalia Express, so everybody was happy.

On the day of the election a massive 24% of the population of Westphalia-on-Sea rushed to the polls and cast their vote. When the winner was announced, it became clear that things hadn't quite gone to plan. Instead of welcoming an independent superhero into office, the residents of Westphalia-on-Sea were faced with the grin of the Conservative candidate, an estate agent named Dr Pangloss. It turned out that Pangloss had the support of only 7% of the electorate, but rules are rules, and he was still entitled to the superhero salary. 'Never mind, said the Westphalia Express. We've got a wonderful new mayor, and you, the good people of Westphalia-on-Sea should support him, and forget that you're now paying an estate agent fifty grand a year.'

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think Pangloss' initial salary was more like £57,00 p.a.

Anonymous said...

Surely money well spent, some residents of the town thought, but we will have to wait and see.