Chapter 19 In which Charlie Windsor gives Pangloss some bad news

Following the 'incident' at the football match, Pangloss was feeling rather down in the dumps, and was reluctant to pick up the ringing phone in his office in case it was more bad news. He let it ring at least twelve times, but eventually succumbed.
'Hello, Pangloss here,' he said wearily.
'Morning Pangloss, how was your weekend?' Pangloss sighed audibly with relief; it was Charlie Windsor, one of his few political allies.
'Hmm, I've had better, said Pangloss, feeling his cheeks redden slightly as he momentarily relived his time on the pitch at Westphalia United. Anyway, what do you want?'
'Sorry to hear that, old man. Well, if you're not in a good mood, what I've got to say isn't going to make you feel any better.'
'Oh Christ, what now?'
'Well, you know I have a blog ...'
'No, I didn't. I don't even know what a blog is.'
'Oh, get with it Pangloss. A blog is like an online diary, where you can record your every thought.'
'It sounds great. and you have one?'
'Yes. http://www.charliewindsor.blogspot.com/. All my political pearls of wisdom are recorded there, accessible to millions of people.'
'Brilliant! How many people read it then?'
'Well, judging by my online EU treaty poll, I'd say, oh, somewhere in the region of ... five.'
'Five million!?'
'No, five.'
'Five? Isn't the whole thing a bit of a waste of time then? Doesn't that mean that no-one is remotely interested in anything you've got to say?'
'Well, yes ... no, look, that's not the point. The point is after I posted my thoughts on the EU Treaty I had a message from David Cameron.'
'That's great - if he's one of your five readers I take it all back.'
'Of course he isn't - it's someone messing about. But whoever it was left the address of another blog, which I read out of curiosity.'
'And ...?'
'Well, this other blog is actually a story set in the fictitious town of Piddlebackside, but it appears to be about you ... and me.'
'Fame at last! Can I read it?'
'Well yes, but it's not what you'd call ... supportive. It takes a rather more, how shall I put this? Critical angle on what you've been up to. In fact it goes further than that - it blows the lid right off your big ideas strategy, the consultants, everything.'
'Christ on a bike! It doesn't mention the name change does it?'
'Which one?'
'Both. Either.'
' 'Fraid so.'
'Selling off the pub on the beach to the property developer?'
'Yep.'
'The high-speed ferry?'
'The whole bloody shooting match, I'm afraid, old man.'
Pangloss felt his legs go to jelly. All that stuff should have been forgotten about ages ago.
'Doesn't mention the football match, does it?'
'Yes, now that was quite funny, actually ...'
Pangloss could still hear Charlie in full flow as he hung up the phone. He buzzed through to his secretary and said: 'No calls for the next hour please Jenny; I'm feeling unwell.'